If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
