i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize