I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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