Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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