i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
