I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
