Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
