Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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