im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
