then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize