I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
