FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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