Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
