i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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