Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize