(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
