I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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