didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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