I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
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