the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
