I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
