hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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