I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
