I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
