try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
