How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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