why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
