You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
