I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
