We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
