I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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