The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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