If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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