I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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