Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
