i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I believe in your delicious
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