You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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