Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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