Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
