Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you would pick up someone in the library
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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