you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
