we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
