Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
