I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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