Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
