so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
