so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
