I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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