i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
