Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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