Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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