So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
