5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
