So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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