I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
do herpes really smell.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
