remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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