She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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