dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he just fucked me for my cheese.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
