I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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