At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize