With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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