So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
