We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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