oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You can't just leave with hair like that
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
