this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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