her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
