I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we made out on top of his cat.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
my liver is dry heaving
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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