Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize