There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
