Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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